The first month of our Nashville summer was almost perfect. The kids put away all their homeschool books. We grilled out on our patio, went for family hikes, and checked out a few community festivals. I renewed our pool membership and we used it like mad. We took a road trip to South Dakota to see our family. We sent Addison to his first ever sleep away camp for a week.
Steve and I occasionally meet people who love what they see in our family, or who have read something of ours that inspires them, and they want advice. If you could look inside my head in that moment, you would see a fire roaring to life. We are both passionate about family, about doing life together wholeheartedly, about enduring and vibrant relationships. I hate to hear that a marriage is dying. I hate to see kids struggling alone like I did. We believe the Lord “sets the lonely in families” (Psalm 68:6) with the same passionate fire. Its one way he pours out his deep love for us. Family is worth fighting for!
Ah, siblings. Steve and I both came from families of three kids, each with two older sons and then a daughter, all the average of two years apart. He was the middle child and I was the baby. Because one child wasn’t enough for us and three was too many, Steve and I settled on two. Our daughter is four years older than our son. They are our (very) happy medium. Statistically, the gender and age difference make sibling tension much less common in our set up. But we have our off days, trust me.
Does anyone remember the game Red Rover? Our whole 3rd grade class used to line up and play this at recess. Twenty-four rambunctious kids squeezing each other’s hands with a sweaty grip of death… Makes me want to break out the hand sanitizer!
I sometimes feel as though, in aiming for a well balanced life together, my family is engaging in one massive game of Red Rover. There’s a million things that want to bust through our line and it takes effort to hold our links steady. Distractions, obligations, opportunities. We could overbook ourselves in a heartbeat or end up in separate directions if we aren’t focused.
I remember having our first baby, Adrienne. Steve and I were still babies ourselves, so naive! We had no idea the exact mission we were embarking on. I had this neat little plan all laid out to be back at work in no time. But when I first held her, it suddenly dawned on me: here is this new little person and I have zero idea who she is. (When I think about it, Steve and I will spend our lifetimes getting to know Adrienne and her brother Addison.)
I’ve been thinking about Martha, one of the most seemingly cantankerous women in the Bible. She’s painted as the ugly villain, the stingy shrew, when I hear her story told. Inwardly I’m shouting, “Unfair!” If Martha and I took personality or career aptitude tests, our results would be identical. I understand what made her tick. But her virtues are overlooked when compared to her siblings . I am here to set the record straight.
I grew up in evangelical church circles, where everyone knew where they were going when they died but few knew how to make the most of being alive. At some point I snapped awake. I decided that God, having created this amazing, vast world, had given me license to go explore all the possibilities it held. By grace, I am intentionally building a life together with my husband. That life feels extraordinary and full of hope. We love it immensely.
When our kids were smaller, searching Google for things like “house rules” and “discipline” I came up with ridiculous results including, and I am not kidding, “Do not start fires in the kitchen.” Wow… so glad I am not living with those little crazies! Sitting down together, we wrote our own and came up with 10 simply worded values, none of which talked about fire.
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