“When was the last time you were fully conscious and present in your generosity? Or to rephrase that, when was the last time your generosity brought you unexplainable, total joy?” -Alexandra Khan

A few years ago, we were part of a large and busy church organization in another city. This is the place where we first met, held our wedding, formed friendships, became parents, and cut our teeth in ministry. As the church increased, so did the opportunities for strong couples like ourselves to serve in leadership roles. How we appreciate those experiences! Because nothing grows your character and abilities quite like carrying that weight.

Our daughter Adrienne, our first baby, just turned 13! We constantly pinch ourselves and ask, “Wait, what? Where did the time go?” On the other hand, we have made the most of every precious second with Adrienne, and her younger brother Addison.  We credit a portion of our success to our choice of independently educating our kids.  In our homeschooling, we regularly spend everyday together, and have continued to do so for pretty much our kids’ entire lives.

We didn’t initially plan this life.  Before Adrienne was born, I had full-time daycare all lined up to watch Adrienne while I went back to work.  We intended for her to stay with my dear friend Rachel and her family. But as Adrienne’s birth drew closer, Rachel repeatedly advised, “I don’t think you want to do this.”

It’s as though she was speaking faith to me. And although I don’t remember the words even registering, they must have. The very instant I held Adrienne in my arms, I felt my logic being rearranged.  Steve and I both began to work part-time at home with our new baby. Four years later when Addison was born, we owned a web business and I quit my job in radio.

Train up a child the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6  Growing up, I heard this verse preached to parents aiming to raise their kids to be Christians. Basically, train them about God when they are small so they will forever retain faith in their hearts. I don’t disagree, but doesn’t that seem a bit… shallow? I believe the Holy Spirit crafts our understanding of different scriptures based on our current season and who we are created to be.

September is officially suicide Prevention Month. Regardless of the month, suicide is always a relevant topic, unfortunately. It’s the 10th leading cause of death in the nation. Suicide wrecks over 44,000 families every year. For every single completed suicide, there are 25 more failed attempts. That is over 1 million attempts every single year! Friends, you undoubtedly are connected right now to someone in the throes of life and death, even unbeknown to you.

Imagine! This life is a precious gift from a Creator whose valuation of us is enormous. And yet thousands of people every year are convinced, through heartache and hopelessness, to relinquish their future. Today, Steve and I want to use our platform on Life Of The Family to illuminate this area for as many families as we can. We spent some time this week speaking with Rachel, a friend of ours, who faced this battle as a young adult and is ready to share her story.

If you haven’t noticed, Steve and I have a passion for our family. We keep an eye trained on our own, like investors monitoring the stock market. Our family is our life, our heritage – our future – being built right now. As such, it deserves top priority and the best of our energy.

The foundation of the life we share with our children is our own faith. We want Adrienne and Addison to serve God with us, of course. But more than that, we want them to do everything with us – travel, exploring, hiking, movie nights, and projects. As I once told a friend, “We had them to have them.” The life we are leading we lead together as a solid family, headed in the same direction. Our kids will gain autonomy and independence, but the commonalities we develop right now will keep us connected our whole lives. To Steve and I, this is the very essence of family. I missed it growing up, but now relish the chance to establish it purposefully.

I used to live a hectic life, letting the days and weeks fly by. I was consumed with meeting people’s expectations and didn’t allow for self-care or boundaries. Surely, loving your neighbors was only a metaphor for how busy God expects me to be in my church. I gave energy to everyone who asked. Too often, I had nothing significant left for the myself or my family. I was oblivious to how this constant busyness was taxing our family and how utterly exhausted I was becoming.

We’ve all heard the African proverb, “It takes a village to raise a child.” I think that even as adults we never stop depending on that village. We all have a circle of people we need – probably more than we realize. It’s never highlighted so clearly as during times of crisis. We discover whom we can lean on, and hopefully, we survive unscathed and more grateful.

“I do. I take you to be my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, and I will never change my mind.”

These were the vows we took 16 years ago. We believed wholly in our promise to one another. This commitment was a done deal, come what may. Each of us were utterly sincere; but oh, how young and untested we were!

The first month of our Nashville summer was almost perfect. The kids put away all their homeschool books. We grilled out on our patio, went for family hikes, and checked out a few community festivals. I renewed our pool membership and we used it like mad. We took a road trip to South Dakota to see our family. We sent Addison to his first ever sleep away camp for a week.

Steve and I occasionally meet people who love what they see in our family, or who have read something of ours that inspires them, and they want advice. If you could look inside my head in that moment, you would see a fire roaring to life. We are both passionate about family, about doing life together wholeheartedly, about enduring and vibrant relationships. I hate to hear that a marriage is dying. I hate to see kids struggling alone like I did. We believe the Lord “sets the lonely in families” (Psalm 68:6) with the same passionate fire. Its one way he pours out his deep love for us. Family is worth fighting for!