We have been parents for 13 years, 5 months and 27 days. When our first was born, we told the nurse that she really should come home with us. I, for one, was only a little bit joking. Take care of our very own human? Not qualified! And yet, in a series of small accumulated miracles, here we are.

Mothering a Tween

Last Friday, Adrienne’s tutorial group held a dance. She and I spent a sweet afternoon together as mother and daughter. We share a definite love for accessories, dresses, and events that call for glam. I taught her a few tricks and tips as I blow dried and curled her hair. I polished her fingers and toes with the perfect shades of magenta and cobalt. Finally, I zipped her dress and opened the box that held her first pair of high heels. Actually, I suggested that she walk around the house first to get accustomed. She replied, “Mom, I’ve been walking in your heels since I was 4!” You got me there, babe.

“The Talk,” Brendtro Style

Many of you follow Life of the Family because you know us personally, or you share our desire to build a connected family. Over the past year, we’ve shared bits and pieces of our story on this blog. We’ve tried to be so careful, because our goal isn’t to cast blame or cause hurt. In fact, sometimes we stay silent for a while, to rest and process while our story continues to bloom. We only ever write out of a place of joy.

Recently, we were in the Yucatan Peninsula of Mexico, where few go to vacation. We spent two weeks exploring all the Mayan ruins and strolling on nearly empty beaches. Each afternoon, the wind and waves are so loud that they drown out all other sound. I found myself on these long walks along the shore, talking to God. I unzipped my whole bag of questions and really opened up my heart to hear Him answer. It ended up being pretty loud and emotional. (Probably a couple Canadian tourists will never forget that one crazy lady.) But it was amazing! There’s something powerful about pouring out your guts, no holds barred, to the One who created it all.

Our BMW glove box holds a very special red journal, inscribed with all our previous family travel dates. Just this past year alone, we counted up 14 road trips. Our list is inspired by Charles Lindbergh, who inked his own list right onto a drawer bottom inside his Airstream trailer. We spotted it in the Henry Ford Museum during our Michigan trip.

Traveling is one of our favorite pastimes together. My husband grew up traveling often with his family. I, on the other hand, was born with an adventurous urge that only grew stronger while couped up in Small Town America.

Why We’re Fired up About Travel

According to Steve, travel, more than any other aspect of his childhood, solidified the relationships in his family. In fact, research shows that shared adventures deepen the connection we feel with others. We definitely want to replicate that enduring bond with our kids. This will not just happen on it’s own. It’s born out of our intentionality! Time, like money, can slip through your fingers without a solid plan of how to invest it. This is why we prioritize our family first and get fired up for adventure.

Four years ago, our family life was much different than it is today. We lived as though we had an obligation to stay Addicted to Busy, with Adrienne and Addison in tow. It gradually took its toll, until our family was in a lurch. So, we took stock and resolved to back out of over-commitment and anything that felt hectic. We made purposeful steps to define our vision and direction once again. Here is the 5 most brilliantly impacted areas of our lifestyle.

“When was the last time you were fully conscious and present in your generosity? Or to rephrase that, when was the last time your generosity brought you unexplainable, total joy?” -Alexandra Khan

A few years ago, we were part of a large and busy church organization in another city. This is the place where we first met, held our wedding, formed friendships, became parents, and cut our teeth in ministry. As the church increased, so did the opportunities for strong couples like ourselves to serve in leadership roles. How we appreciate those experiences! Because nothing grows your character and abilities quite like carrying that weight.

Our daughter Adrienne, our first baby, just turned 13! We constantly pinch ourselves and ask, “Wait, what? Where did the time go?” On the other hand, we have made the most of every precious second with Adrienne, and her younger brother Addison.  We credit a portion of our success to our choice of independently educating our kids.  In our homeschooling, we regularly spend everyday together, and have continued to do so for pretty much our kids’ entire lives.

We didn’t initially plan this life.  Before Adrienne was born, I had full-time daycare all lined up to watch Adrienne while I went back to work.  We intended for her to stay with my dear friend Rachel and her family. But as Adrienne’s birth drew closer, Rachel repeatedly advised, “I don’t think you want to do this.”

It’s as though she was speaking faith to me. And although I don’t remember the words even registering, they must have. The very instant I held Adrienne in my arms, I felt my logic being rearranged.  Steve and I both began to work part-time at home with our new baby. Four years later when Addison was born, we owned a web business and I quit my job in radio.

Train up a child the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6  Growing up, I heard this verse preached to parents aiming to raise their kids to be Christians. Basically, train them about God when they are small so they will forever retain faith in their hearts. I don’t disagree, but doesn’t that seem a bit… shallow? I believe the Holy Spirit crafts our understanding of different scriptures based on our current season and who we are created to be.

September is officially suicide Prevention Month. Regardless of the month, suicide is always a relevant topic, unfortunately. It’s the 10th leading cause of death in the nation. Suicide wrecks over 44,000 families every year. For every single completed suicide, there are 25 more failed attempts. That is over 1 million attempts every single year! Friends, you undoubtedly are connected right now to someone in the throes of life and death, even unbeknown to you.

Imagine! This life is a precious gift from a Creator whose valuation of us is enormous. And yet thousands of people every year are convinced, through heartache and hopelessness, to relinquish their future. Today, Steve and I want to use our platform on Life Of The Family to illuminate this area for as many families as we can. We spent some time this week speaking with Rachel, a friend of ours, who faced this battle as a young adult and is ready to share her story.

If you haven’t noticed, Steve and I have a passion for our family. We keep an eye trained on our own, like investors monitoring the stock market. Our family is our life, our heritage – our future – being built right now. As such, it deserves top priority and the best of our energy.

The foundation of the life we share with our children is our own faith. We want Adrienne and Addison to serve God with us, of course. But more than that, we want them to do everything with us – travel, exploring, hiking, movie nights, and projects. As I once told a friend, “We had them to have them.” The life we are leading we lead together as a solid family, headed in the same direction. Our kids will gain autonomy and independence, but the commonalities we develop right now will keep us connected our whole lives. To Steve and I, this is the very essence of family. I missed it growing up, but now relish the chance to establish it purposefully.