Ah, siblings. Steve and I both came from families of three kids, each with two older sons and then a daughter, all the average of two years apart. He was the middle child and I was the baby. Because one child wasn’t enough for us and three was too many, Steve and I settled on two. Our daughter is four years older than our son. They are our (very) happy medium.  Statistically, the gender and age difference make sibling tension much less common in our set up. But we have our off days, trust me.

We’ve all seen TV shows where a family unit is breaking down, each person going their own way. It is often presented in a comical way, as if it is something we are all supposed to understand and accept as a way of life. Life is lived on separate islands, and from time to time a parent – typically the mother – will pull everyone back together for a meaningful family moment.  Then they go back to doing their own thing. Sorry if this is normal to you, but I just can’t relate. It’s not funny to me – it’s a scary kind of dysfunction.

I remember having our first baby, Adrienne. Steve and I were still babies ourselves, so naive! We had no idea the exact mission we were embarking on. I had this neat little plan all laid out to be back at work in no time. But when I first held her, it suddenly dawned on me: here is this new little person and I have zero idea who she is. (When I think about it, Steve and I will spend our lifetimes getting to know Adrienne and her brother Addison.)

Hey gang! November is National Adoption Month and we want to share some stories from our friends who have built their families in this unique way. This week I sat down with Timbrel and asked a lot of sensitive questions. I hope you enjoy this portrait of her journey!

When our kids were smaller, searching Google for things like “house rules” and “discipline” I came up with ridiculous results including, and I am not kidding, “Do not start fires in the kitchen.” Wow… so glad I am not living with those little crazies! Sitting down together, we wrote our own and came up with 10 simply worded values, none of which talked about fire.

Okay, there was no brawl per se, although we usually feel the need to keep our fists up as we step into conflict.  But leading with integrity and respect can change everything.

Today I found myself in the middle of an ordinary day, 102° in the Tennessee shade and the pool was closed. We dressed in our skimpiest and headed to the splash park. I still don’t hardly know anyone here, so I staked out a table close by and sat down to read a book alone. I hadn’t been at it too long when my oldest, Adrienne, stomped up to me with her long, tan legs.

When we lived in Kansas City, I had a group of friends who annually gathered for an Anne of Green Gables viewing party. I used to turn down the invite and snicker to myself. (Sorry girls!) However, our daughter Adrienne discovered the book series and loved it so much that we downloaded the movie for our own little viewing party. Oh. My. Gosh. It was hilarious! Though… I still feel like a dork admitting that.

A friend said to my husband Steve and me recently, “Most people joke about having a ‘mini me’ but you two really do.” It’s true, our daughter is a facsimile of me and our son is a miniature of Steve. I’m not just talking about insane good looks either, I mean the whole package – quirks, talents, expressions, preferences. Perhaps it’s because Steve and I have worked at home parents since our eldest was born. At ages 11 and 7, Adrienne and Addison have already spent way more time with their parents than the average American kid. 

Ask any of my friends and they will tell you, I am a certified type A personality, tried and true. My blood is even A.  I have loosened up a bit since moving to Nashville last year – being around all these creatives does something to a person. However, I still cling to my morning routine for the sanity it brings to my day. Waking up with time alone to read my Bible and pray is an important part. The topics on my heart may change frequently but there is one prayer always in the line up.

“Father connect my family to each other today. Let each person here find the belonging they deserve here and may our hearts be bound ever tighter together.” I begin the day mindful, not of the inconsequential daily tasks, but of the most important objective in my life. I ask God to back me up and I really expect help from heaven.

My husband has the most hilarious stories about his childhood. It was one of the things that attracted me to him; he would have me laughing until tears were rolling down my cheeks. What a crazy kid! It’s like a fun party trick – “Hey Steve, tell the one about writing your name in gasoline in the driveway.” I could just picture him as a boy, mischievous nature in full swing. It was adorable… until we had our own son.