I remember having our first baby, Adrienne. Steve and I were still babies ourselves, so naive! We had no idea the exact mission we were embarking on. I had this neat little plan all laid out to be back at work in no time. But when I first held her, it suddenly dawned on me: here is this new little person and I have zero idea who she is. (When I think about it, Steve and I will spend our lifetimes getting to know Adrienne and her brother Addison.)
I’ve been thinking about Martha, one of the most seemingly cantankerous women in the Bible. She’s painted as the ugly villain, the stingy shrew, when I hear her story told. Inwardly I’m shouting, “Unfair!” If Martha and I took personality or career aptitude tests, our results would be identical. I understand what made her tick. But her virtues are overlooked when compared to her siblings . I am here to set the record straight.
I grew up in evangelical church circles, where everyone knew where they were going when they died but few knew how to make the most of being alive. At some point I snapped awake. I decided that God, having created this amazing, vast world, had given me license to go explore all the possibilities it held. By grace, I am intentionally building a life together with my husband. That life feels extraordinary and full of hope. We love it immensely.
When our kids were smaller, searching Google for things like “house rules” and “discipline” I came up with ridiculous results including, and I am not kidding, “Do not start fires in the kitchen.” Wow… so glad I am not living with those little crazies! Sitting down together, we wrote our own and came up with 10 simply worded values, none of which talked about fire.
Okay, there was no brawl per se, although we usually feel the need to keep our fists up as we step into conflict. But leading with integrity and respect can change everything.
Today I found myself in the middle of an ordinary day, 102° in the Tennessee shade and the pool was closed. We dressed in our skimpiest and headed to the splash park. I still don’t hardly know anyone here, so I staked out a table close by and sat down to read a book alone. I hadn’t been at it too long when my oldest, Adrienne, stomped up to me with her long, tan legs.
When we lived in Kansas City, I had a group of friends who annually gathered for an Anne of Green Gables viewing party. I used to turn down the invite and snicker to myself. (Sorry girls!) However, our daughter Adrienne discovered the book series and loved it so much that we downloaded the movie for our own little viewing party. Oh. My. Gosh. It was hilarious! Though… I still feel like a dork admitting that.
I never understood the personality of God until I became a parent. I used to think pleasing God was difficult, like an ever increasing list of requirements stacked next to my failures, all presided over by a scolding, cranky old judge. I would never add up, try as I might, because I just didn’t have what it took to be his star pupil. This would not have felt so hard to bear if I had been a star somewhere else, successful or significant on another plain, but it felt soul crushing to my hungry heart.
And then I had children. My heart filled up like a rain barrel in a monsoon. My love was sudden, torrential, uncontainable. I was swept downriver and my view of God flipped end over end. Suddenly I knew, this is how he had always loved me- without reason, without limits or end. It was there all along! My eyes hungrily drank in the proof all around me. His generosity to me, his daughter, could never be tapped out.
A friend said to my husband Steve and me recently, “Most people joke about having a ‘mini me’ but you two really do.” It’s true, our daughter is a facsimile of me and our son is a miniature of Steve. I’m not just talking about insane good looks either, I mean the whole package – quirks, talents, expressions, preferences. Perhaps it’s because Steve and I have worked at home parents since our eldest was born. At ages 11 and 7, Adrienne and Addison have already spent way more time with their parents than the average American kid.
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